Clear and Present Danger

I spent a lot of time trying to come up with a fun title for today’s blog.  “Prep and Landing” was a contender. So was “Cleanse”, “The Cleaner”, “The Purge”, and a host of other tongue-in-cheek options.

Yes, today is my colonoscopy preparation day.  A day of clear liquids and some real “cleansing”. For those of you who have been through this, I know you understand my meaning.

The colonoscopy is routine.  I had my first in 2001, and then again in 2008 around the time of my kidney cancer diagnosis.  There is a history of colon cancer on both sides of my family, and given my two prior cancer diagnoses, it’s all about playing it safe.  I’m not worried, and yet I will hold my breath until I get the results (as I do with pretty much all testing anymore).

The day started with me being starved at 6:00 a.m.  I don’t normally eat breakfast until after I’m at work, but there is something about knowing there is nothing but clear liquids for the day that stirs the hunger pangs.  I had an early physical therapy appointment today (which went really well) so that I could be home in time to start preparations at 9:00 a.m.

First step, 2 Dulcolax at 9:00 a.m., plus some fluids to keep my stomach from yelling at me.

The fun really began at noon, when I was supposed to mix an entire bottle of Miralax with a 64 ounce bottle of Gatorade, and then drink 8 ounces every 15-20 minutes.  Let me just say, I’m not a fan of the Gatorade (I think it’s just gross and certainly way too sweet for me), so I didn’t mix the whole thing.  I measured it out for 8 ounces at a time.  I did manage to do a few of the Gatorade mixes, but by glass #3, I was ready to vomit.

It was time to switch over.  Glass #4 was mixed with tea, but I realized I had had way too many cups of caffeinated tea and I sure hope that doesn’t bite me in the butt come bed time.  Glasses #5 & #6 were decaf tea, and then that got gross too, so I switched to plain water. The bowl of Miralax seemed to be unending, and when I made a bowl of chicken broth, I dumped whatever reamined into it.

I was supposed to be done with all that by 3:00.  It was well past that when I did finish, and it was a struggle.  I did take the second dose of Dulcolax at 3:00 as instructed and so now it’s all about more fluids and much time in the bathroom.

As for the chicken broth… I can’t imagine there’s any real chicken used in the making of this product, but at any rate, I need to get past that for today.  I did try the veggie broth, as well as mushroom broth.  While they are great for cooking, they are no good by themselves. I tried, but they were also gross, and the chicken was tolerable.  It was nice to have some salt against all that sugar.

I did receive a phone call from the surgical center asking if I could come at 6:30 instead of 8:00 a.m.  Thanks to Mom and Dad, I can go earlier, since they will take care of putting Ethan on the bus.  It will be nice to get done earlier and have more time at home.

I had to miss band rehearsal tonight, for obvious reasons, and I am grateful to my hubby for taking the kids to practice.

*****

Clear and Present Danger (1994) – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109444/

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