Reflections

I’m a little more than half way through chemo and thought I would reflect on the journey thus far…

  1. The fatigue continues to be the worse part so far.  Not that I’m totally complaining.  I do love to sleep, but I’m not really one to sit still for long periods of time and be a slug.  There’s so much I wish I could get up and do, if only I had the energy.  I was so tired yesterday that I completely forgot to do my blog!  These 2-3 days post-chemo are the worse, but the fatigue does reach into the following weeks.
  2. I’m completely used to no having hair and love my scarves.  The wig?  It gets me through the day, but I’m really not a fan.  It does get hot, and it’s definitely itchy!  By the end of the day, I really just can’t wait to rip it off my head.  I usually do that in the car after work, when I remember to bring a scarf along with me.  I’m getting closer and closer to just wearing scarves to work.  It feels like a big step, but I just need to do it once and then it will be my new normal.
  3. I am thrilled to have survived 50% of chemo thus far with eye brows and eye lashes intact.  I’m cautiously optimistic they will make it the whole way through, but am grateful to have had them this long.  It makes wearing scarves less daunting when I can apply decent-looking makeup.
  4. I’m also grateful to have had little nausea to date (and absolutely no vomiting).  Again, I hope it lasts with each subsequent round!  What little nausea I have had, usually on day 2-3 post-chemo, has been handily addressed by the Compazine, which unfortunately, also makes me more tired.
  5. The taste buds issue follows fatigue as a close second in terms of complaints.  It’s really tough to stay fed and hydrated when even water tastes bad.  Dehydration leads to low blood pressure which makes me tired.  (see #1)  I’m trying what I can to ensure I get enough calories, but it usually means eating stuff I would rather not.  Rice pudding and pumpkin donuts still taste really good, while fruits and veggies do not.  I’m still doing my best to stay the course, but it’s tough to motivate myself for juicing when I know it won’t taste so good for me.  Luckily, Ethan is still a good motivator on the juicing front.
  6. My “seromas” (the pockets of fluid where my breasts used to be) haven’t seemed to change a bit since my surgery.  I had thought that some of that fluid would start to absorb by now, but I’ve read it can take up to a year.
  7. The time is going fast.  Seriously.  This is great!  I hope the remaining 3 treatments go as quickly, even though it does mean wishing the holidays away.  My last treatment is only 2 months away!
  8. The nurses at Hematology and Oncology Associates are just amazing.  Knowledgeable, friendly, kind, patient.  I give them a ton of credit for doing that kind of work.
  9. My friends and family have been amazing as well:  Emotional support, food, comfort, gifts, cards, encouragement, opinions on wigs, reminders to drink water, holding down the fort at work, and did I mention food?… the list is endless.  I will be eternally grateful for all of your support.
  10. My blog has been a bit of a Godsend for me.  It’s been a great way to stay connected, to keep perspective, and to share information.  I’ve connected with new friends from Maine to Chicago, and have touched people in 9 different countries.  It’s become more than I ever thought it would be, with over 10,000 hits, and has become a way for my son to participate, by helping with the creative side.  It’s been quite a lot of fun, despite it’s message or intent.

So thanks for reflecting with me.  Have a great rest of the weekend!  The couch is calling my name….

 

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