I didn’t cry when I found out I had breast cancer.
I didn’t even cry when they removed my breasts.
But today, I cried. My hair has started falling out.
I knew it would happen. I wasn’t in denial at all. And given how fine and thin my hair is, I kind of expected it to leave me sooner rather than later. But now that it’s here, it’s very traumatic. It started when I was combing my hair out after getting out of the shower. Clumps and clumps of hair kept coming out. And then more when I brushed it during drying. All day today, I found remnants of my hair on my clothes, on my desk, on my computer…
I didn’t cry right away. It took me the whole day of thinking about it before it really got to me. I had a dilemma to solve first. I wanted my personal stylist to cut the bangs on my wig, and she is on vacation until next week. But I am going away for the weekend, and have to present at a work offsite meeting next week, so I wanted to look presentable. I certainly didn’t want to present in front of 75 people with clumpy, thin hair. But did I mention my stylist is on vacation?? (I knew I should have done it before she left…Thanks to the PA who told me 3-4 weeks…) Anyway.
So I called That Special Woman, where I got my wig, and they were able to give me an appointment for tomorrow. They will cut/shave my hair (whatever I want), and then will trim the bangs on my wig. I sure they’re good. 🙂 There’s just no way I can wait until next week without always worrying when it would just fall off my head.
It wasn’t until I was telling my friend about the appointment that I started to lose it. Thankfully, two friends will be going with me for the appointment tomorrow. It’s so nice to have someone to hold your hand! So tomorrow’s the day. I’m not ready yet, but I will be. And tonight, I just need to grieve.
In the meantime, I did have my blood work today and all was good. Everything was right in line. All set for next week’s round two.