This post is centered around my favorite sarcastic villain from The Lion King: Scar.
When I look in the mirror, it’s hard not to notice the various and sundry scars across my body. I have been reflecting a lot on this, as I continue to ponder reconstruction. Each scar has a story and each story builds on who I am.
Some of the scars are minor and recall funny stories of my childhood. There’s the scar just below my right eyebrow that tells of the tricycle accident when I was about 2 (apparently I was somewhere I should not have been and peddled off the edge of a wall, or something like that). There’s the scar now cleverly hidden in my “parentheses” to the right of my mouth. (Clearly, my left side is my better side…) I have that lovely scar on my left wrist which reminds me why I hate to iron, and the scar across my right foot that reminds me why I shouldn’t own a dog.
All of those are minor and barely noticeable in comparison to all the other scars. My torso looks a bit like a road map, or maybe even a smiley face. Consider this: My happiest scar that reminds me of the birth of my son, a now-faded 6″ smile. Working up from that, the 4″ scar that reminds me of my kidney cancer four years ago, and it’s kin, the three 1/2″ scars that held a drainage tube and the laparoscopic tools. (The 4″ scar is where my surgeon “stuck his hand in”, as he so eloquently explained.) These too have faded over the years.
The most recent scars are two 6″ scars and their accompanying drain scars which remind me of where my breasts used to be and the road I still have ahead. These scars are still tender, pink and a little puckered where the skin gathered together at each end. This particular story is not yet finished, in fact it has barely begun. Interestingly enough, I don’t mind the reminders. They keep me grounded, give me perspective, and remind me to try to live each day to it’s fullest. In totality, these scars remind me of where I’ve been, and who I’ve become in the journey. They do not define me, but yet they are and always will be part of my story.